How Having a Baby Changed My Marriage

What was the worst piece of advice that someone gave you about marriage? For me, it was that relationships change after marriage. That’s almost like giving people a free pass to become lazy and stop putting in the work in a relationship. Yes, marriage does change a relationship but it should be for the better. What really changes a relationship is having/adopting children. Am I right? That is when it’s no longer just about the two of you. You have another little person to take care of. And while it does put certain strains on a relationship that may have not been an issue before, it still should create a stronger bond between you. Here is how having a baby changed my marriage.

 Alone Time is Harder to Find, But we do Make it Happen

I’ll be upfront when I say this doesn’t really become a problem until they start walking steadily – and opening doors. But you just have to learn to adjust. We’re lucky in that we have a great support system that loves to take care of Arielle when we need a night out to ourselves. 

Date Night Conversations Now Revolve Around Her, But She’s a Pretty Good Topic

Just because we leave her at home, it doesn’t mean she isn’t still the focus of our world. Last fall when we went to dinner we sat outdoors and there was a band playing. All Alex and I could talk about was how much Arielle would love dancing to this music. And that’s okay! We were happy to be out together and be able to just be a couple again, but that doesn’t mean we pretend we don’t have a child. 

Scheduling is a Little More Complicated, But We’re More Organized Than Ever

Between activities and doctor’s appointments and eventually preschool, our schedule has become much busier. That’s why we put a white board on our fridge to write out weekly appointments, plan meals and write down shopping lists to keep it all organized. 

We May Not Always Agree on Everything, But She Provides Common Ground

Like any couple, we have different approaches and opinions, but how we deal with Arielle is mostly the same. We both know when to reward and when to discipline her and we’ve agreed on common rules for any offenses. 

Our Love Has Grown, no Buts About it

I was so concerned about how we would be able to fit her into our lives, but that was never an issue. The minute we met her she made our hearts grow and somehow that made everything easier. So it was no longer how to fit her into our lives, it was how can we do more with her, include her in everything so she can experience life. You can read about how we handled taking her to the Newport Mansions last December!

While we were happy before Arielle came along, we cannot imagine our lives without her now. While everyday living is a bit busier, more hectic, we wouldn’t want it any other way.