What I Didn’t Anticipate with Motherhood

What did I think motherhood would be like?

To be honest, I didn’t have many expectations. I grew up in what may have been considered an “alternative” household – at least at the time. My mother mostly functioned as a single parent as breadwinner, educator, best friend, chauffeur and therapist, amongst other things. I saw the toll that all of these roles played on her. While her favorite title is “Mom,” and she has done an amazing job, it was not an easy one to fulfill.

But I brought Arielle into the typical two-parent household, with extra help from my mom who lives close and acts as daycare. And even though there are still difficult times, I am lucky to have the support I have. But even with all the help in the world, taking on the role of “mother” changes a person, and sometimes in ways that you don’t expect. On my second Mother’s Day, I’m sharing what I didn’t anticipate with motherhood.

I Don’t Like to be Away from Arielle

I used to love my alone time. Whether I was just reading a book or having a massage, I always felt that time spent on my own was time well spent. But now, I don’t like to be too far away from Arielle. Even when I work, I prefer at least being in the same house as her. I know many women deal with this after they have their little ones, and eventually, they move on. But right now, I just can’t imagine being away from her for more than a few hours!

I Prefer Activities that She can be Involved In

While I cannot wait to return to some of the fantastic blogger events that I was lucky to be invited to pre-pandemic, right now I prefer activities that I can include Arielle in. Instead of going to ticketed theater performances, we took Arielle to a free showing of Shakespeare on the Common in August of 2019. We have shelved music festivals for outdoor music lessons. And I hope to take her to a drive-in movie this summer because she isn’t quite ready to go to a movie theater just yet. Will we get back to more mature activities? Sure. But for now, we’re enjoying life as a family of three.

I Cannot Watch Certain Shows or Movies or Read Certain Articles Anymore

I’ve never been a huge fan of violence and gore, but, as with Game of Thrones, I either closed my eyes or multi-tasked to get around certain scenes. But now if something is too violent, or if it involves children in an inappropriate way, I cannot watch it. For example, I used to love watching Shameless. Frank Gallagher almost made my father look normal. But I refused to watch the final season because the young children on the show are shown swearing and living in intolerable conditions. Call me a prude, but I just cannot stand it. I also cannot read news stories that discuss violence or exploitation of children, kidnapping or the death of a child. All I can think of is Arielle.

I Have No Fear of Bugs

Well, almost. I will never forget the time I swatted a bee away from her carriage while out on a walk a few weeks after her birth. This may seem trivial but take into account that I am extremely scared of bees and in this instance, I just brushed it away without a thought. After I processed what I did I was shocked … and super proud of myself.