The other day Arielle was having a bad tantrum, right after I had had a particularly bad day with my anxiety. I have dealt with anxiety for probably my entire life, it just wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my 20s. And because it went undiagnosed, I had to learn how to handle these overwhelming emotions on my own. There is no cure for anxiety, but I use a simple tool to help stop my anxiety attacks AND Arielle’s tantrums quick. And I’m sharing this tool in hopes of helping anyone out there who may be dealing with something similar (or just need to stop their kid’s tantrums) in honor of May as Mental Health Awareness month.
It’s all about controlled, deep breathing.
After what felt like my millionth anxiety attack, I remember as I was hyperventilating all I could think was, “I wish I could breathe.” It took several more anxiety attacks to realize that I did have control of my body and finally I forced myself to take a deep, desperate gulp of air. It felt so good. Like, amazing.
It’s taken me years to master the control to take a pause and just try taking a deep breath during my anxiety attacks. But almost every time it helps to curb the severity of the attack, if not stop the entire attack itself.
When Arielle started having tantrums I recognized how she would become unable to breathe because she was so overcome with emotion, similar to an anxiety attack. So instead of yelling at her, or chastising her for refusing to listen to me, I tried something different. I held her face gently in my hands and I told her to breathe deeply.
Now, sometimes she listens to me right away. She slows down her breathing and quickly recovers from her tantrums. Then we have a chat about what she did wrong and why she needs to learn from it. Other times it takes several reminders, and then if that doesn’t work I resort to singing her our lullabies which eventually calms her down and she starts her deep breathing.
I’m doing this not only to stop the tantrums, but also to hopefully prevent her from developing anxiety, if that’s possible. And it makes life a little more pleasant for me too.
For a little more on what this breathing exercise looks like, head to my Instagram.
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